DesignBlabber by RonM

Design Disaster 1: Nissan Patrol MURDERED

2009-07-13T01:03:00.000-07:00

Ooohh…a feeling of ecstasy and disgust runs through my body as I look at the spy shots of this SUV, ecstasy because, this is my next victim and disgust because, this is simply the ugliest Nissan Patrol ever!

Were they aiming for 'ugly' when they drew the first picture of the new patrol? What the hell are you doing Nissan! I wonder what Nissan's corporate buzz word is for their new design 'direction' - Hideous? I at still hope this is a fake spy shot and the new Patrol will look a little more rugged and less chintzy. Or else, you'd better buy a patrol now, while they are still tough looking, ruggedly designed and functional.
I say ugliest Patrol because if it were not a Patrol then it may not have come under my dissection microscope. Because, this SUV isn’t badly designed for a 4x4 but it’s simply outrageous for a Patrol. Since its birth, the Patrol had never shed its rock hard, don’t-mess-with-me attitude in designing and they had a distinct presence that a Land Cruiser never had. Believe me or not, I was scoping around for my first actual subject for this article and I had almost settled on the Cruiser and the Prado (real ugly ducklings!), when fate, took me to the spy shot of what was to be the new Nissan Patrol. At first I thought it was a mockup or a Photoshop job done on the body of a Cruiser, because, a Patrol like that, just couldn’t believe it. And then I read the article and that was it, I postponed the Cruiser family to another article, and sharpened my knives for the Patrol.
All throughout the glorious automotive history, one thing is visible, heritage. One model inherits traits from its predecessor, hence keeping the essence of the particular model alive. Nissan Patrol managed to do it all these years, making them sturdy and muscular, the way they were supposed to be, but this new one, if it really is the new Patrol, then it’s such an immense let down. It feels as if Nissan has lost confidence in its design team and went shopping for designs on Google. Nissan’s range has always been a fresh sight to the eyes, keeping alive its own original sense of design unlike the Toyotas or Hondas that got confused midway.
The Patrol’s headlamps resemble the Cruiser’s out of proportion lamps and the body panels have also been unabashedly adopted from the Toyota 4x4. Yes, indeed they have upgraded the interiors to new levels of luxury and the leather wrapped interiors are distinctly Nissan design. But every time you look at the SUV’s exterior, you get convinced that the gutsy spirit of the Patrol has been left to die.
Oh, front end is still acceptable, worse becomes the story when we move towards the rear. I can swear on anything that I have seen that ugly rear on some cheap Chinese mock up of an SUV. My, what was Nissan thinking? LEDs, yeah we need them but this, this is simply unacceptable. How does one go from making really good looking cars to outrageously ugly?
I thought Indians had a bad choice in design (which they still do! I am an Indian, btw…), but the Japanese, well, blame it on the recession I guess, they probably cut costs at Nissan by giving away the design jobs to someone who’s biggest question in life was, should I wear the hat on my head, or just carry it.
I hate to be this skeptical, but truth be told, the release of this speculated Patrol will mark the murder of a heritage that had been running for almost 30 years (first patrol came in 1980), a murder of the SUV that may not have been the best selling, but it was selling nevertheless because it was the best. I formally, bid adieu to the Patrol that invaded deserts and mountains, conquered rocks and steep climbs with ease, whose only style was a rugged do-or-die look.
Condolences!

Design Disaster: Introductory Series

2009-07-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

Let me start off with the new Skoda Laura(or Octavia for the world), yes indeed, the car is an amazing drive, the ride is comfortable and my favorite choice in the class until the new one came out. God, I was shocked at the design of the nose, it was something I hadn’t expected from a marquee that designed amazing cars like the Superb and Fabia. One of the main things about the perfect design is about balance, something that the Indian designed cars like Mahindra just haven’t heard of, but Skoda, was a total surprise. The whole line of the body is spoilt and it has gone all the way from sophisticated yet understated European look to the garishly ugly Xylo like lamps! Another thing is the stability of the car which is greatly compromised in the 1.6 TSI, where the 15 rims don’t handle all that extra weight hurled at it on tight turns, obviously with no ESP either. But otherwise, its an amazing car and I love the way it feels right in your grip and the unstable ride I can handle, but the design makes me cry.
Another design direction gone wrong is that of the BMW 7 series, well, its better than when the first e65 rolled out, but its just not BMW, its lost its shark like stance that defined the BMW legacy. I mean, the recent BMW 7 series are designed like whales, huge and beefy like an obese rich brat sitting on a pack of rockets but the e38 and models before were amazingly lean but strong looking cars that had such amazing stance. The e38 did not have the fancy iDrive or ghost detector infrared machines on board but simply sexy nevertheless. In my opinion, what the 7 needs is to go back in time, just blindly adopt the straight lines of the doors, sharpen out the blunter edges add an essence of the new Estoque from Lambo, thin strip LED lamps in the front if you must, didn’t really mind the hunchback of the e65, it kind of adds some flair. These many changes and that amazing engine is what the 7 needs to put it back where it actually belonged!
Similarly, the Mercedes E-Class looked so sorry eyed with the 4-eyed look but at least they have squared it up and added that jig that makes it the worthy successor of the W124 series though the rear still makes me gag. One car that has stuck true to legacy, Audi, ride comfort apart, the whole line up feels like a part of the Audi DNA, feels like the model has matured and in a good way, other than the BMW 7 or the older Merc E where resemblances ended at just the trademark grilles.
Well, all this design talk must have made you realize that I am a sucker for good design (lol), actually trying to get into a college for automobile design (proving to be a real hard and expensive thing to do).

Design Disasters: Intro

2009-07-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

This blog is a series edition, where, I, a self-proclaimed die hard motor head/design-fanatic/artist etc., an engineering graduate who just got accepted into IAAD in Italy for Masters in Transportation Design, is going to take samples of products (mainly automotive related), that are being glorified for their wondrous looks, and strip bare them till they shy out the truth of design gone wrong.
This blog will also include my concept designs on what I believe the design must have been also new designs that may com tolling by my vast brain…lol…anyway that’s my mission statement, now, lets go kick some designer a**!!